Fitting Out

16.4.2016 | 14:13

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Dragon Dispatches from the Divine Dragon

Have you ever been in the situation where everyone around you is talking about how great something is, and you just don’t like it?

For example, I don’t think “Citizen Kane” is the greatest movie ever made.  Frankly, I just didn’t “get it,” and thought it was kind of boring.

And it’s not that I don’t like old movies – I think “Casablanca” is one of the best ever.  (And you might not like it at all….)

I love the Beatles, and I enjoy some classic Elvis, but do I think they’re “the best”?

I rather like the Kinks myself.

Joshua Rosenthal, the founder of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, uses the phrase “fitting out.”

individuality being different stand out from crowd having a unique personality be one of a kind and unique personal freedom development and existence

Debra and I have been “fitting out” for years – we just didn’t know there was a name for it.

We loved reading when we were kids, and both enjoyed school.  And no, we didn’t go to any fancy Montessori or other specialized school – we spent most of our school days in the North Carolina public school system.

We didn’t play with baby dolls, although we did have plenty of Barbie dolls.

However, we didn’t have Barbie marrying Ken and living in her “Dream House” – we gave them all different names, and made up little dramas with our own collection of characters.

Neither of us got the “shoegasm” gene either … if they aren’t comfortable, I’m not interested….


As you know if you’re a regular reader, we moved house about a week ago.

We moved from the mountains back to the Piedmont, that flat, central area of the state that is home to UNC, Duke and NC State University.

Everyone was so envious of our move to the mountains a couple of years ago, telling us how lucky we were.  Asheville has great restaurants, beautiful scenery, blah blah blah….

The first summer we were there was fabulous.

We barely had to run the air-conditioning, which is unheard of during a NC summer.  We had the windows open nearly every day – it was bliss.

But living in the mountains wasn’t blissful, not for us.

A winking blue smiley stands out from the crowd

When we both finally admitted – to ourselves and each other – that we weren’t happy, we knew it was time to come home.

We both graduated from UNC-Chapel Hill, and we loved it here as students, and later as adults.

It’s very “walkable,” and the public transit system has been free for several years.

At one point, I had four different library cards for four separate libraries, including the University system.

There’s a Trader Joe’s and a Whole Foods within easy walking distance.

We’ve been here less than a week, and I think we’ve already been out walking more than we had in the past year in the mountains….  (Our neighborhood was not, shall we say, “pedestrian friendly.”)

Yes, the mountains are exquisitely beautiful to look at.

They are also rather claustrophobia-inducing, if you’re so inclined.

They can make you feel boxed in, trapped.

I nearly cried with relief on moving day, as we drove down out of the mountains, into the foothills, and beyond.

It felt so good to be a “flatlander” again.

standing out of the crowd concept with individual successful goldfish

Debra and I are so proud that we listened to our own unique needs and made this decision.

FYI, the cats seem happier too:  Opal has been more active and engaged than she was in our old home, and Osiris is much more relaxed than he’s been for two years.

And Murphy, who never knew any other house (as far as we know), is as content as can be.  She’s enjoying the view from many of the windows, and has been even more affectionate and cuddly than she was before.  Which is saying a lot.

So keep in mind that the “conventional wisdom” may not be the “wisest” solution for your unique needs.

Don’t listen to what everyone else says.

Follow Joshua’s advice, and choose to “fit out.”

It’s much more satisfying than conforming and “fitting in” with everyone else….

I’ve come down from the mountain to share that with you.  Now it’s time for you to share your favorite ways of “fitting out.”


Stand out from the crowd business unique concept

You’re always welcome to do that here.

(images courtesy of


  1. DrRitamarie
    April 17, 2016 | 3:19 pm

    I love this I’ve always been a fitting out sort of person My mom called it rebellious My dress shoes are Clarks’s which is the scorn of my shoegadm friends Happy to hear the move was positive for you Follow the beat of your own drummer always c

    • daletchworth
      April 18, 2016 | 12:33 am

      Dr. RM, we both hear you! We tend toward Merrell, Clark and Earth brands for our shoe preferences. Comfort all the way! Debra

  2. Andrea Caprio
    April 18, 2016 | 11:46 pm

    I always love your articles but this one more as after having moved from South Africa to Miami only 1.5 years ago, we feel fitting out (learnt a new word here)and are thinking of moving to Colorado.

    • daletchworth
      April 19, 2016 | 12:53 am

      Andrea, we didn’t have the right word for it either until fairly recently but it sure hits the mark. All the best if you decide to make that move to Colorado.

  3. Jace
    April 20, 2016 | 6:39 pm

    So happy for your move. That sounds like a great experience to get away and then come back home. High Five!

    • daletchworth
      April 22, 2016 | 4:55 pm

      Thanks, Jace — all indications are this was the right move at the right time. High five back! Debra 🙂

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