The Doubter Limits

8.3.2016 | 03:03

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Dragon Dispatches from the Divine Dragon

I am really struggling to write today, folks.

Oh, I have lots of ideas, but … they’re all confused in my head today.

I feel like I’m trapped in Limbo, where I have all of these decisions I have to make and I don’t know where to start.

I’m being pulled in different directions professionally and personally.

A question mark at the center of many colorful arrows representing different answers

And like so many of us, I’m struggling to know which opportunities to let go….

Or maybe I should I just hold on to all of them and just learn to manage my time really, really efficiently….

I know I can do this, but I am banging smack against my own limiting beliefs today.

I’ve got old commitments coming due, and new ones which have become equally important to me, and I’m just floundering around trying to figure out where to devote my attention.

I feel as though I’m drowning in the fear of not living up to others’ – and, more importantly, my own – expectations.

And on top of that, I’m still waiting for the results of my hair analysis test to determine if I have any sort of heavy metal toxicity….

I’ve got a couple of older cats who’ve been having a series of health challenges over the past several weeks, and that always weighs heavy on my mind.

No pressure, right?

I’m feeling a serious crisis of confidence right now.

It’s like – I know I’ve got the skills, the talents, the desire.

But there’s something creating a huge bubble of fear in and around me….

I’m pretty sure it’s those “Upper Limit” issues Gay Hendricks discusses in his book The Big Leap.

all limitations are self imposed - inspirational statement on a blackboard with a white chalk and a stack of books against rustic wooden table

You know what I’m talking about:

Those inner voices, the gremlins, who represent your Ego.

The thing is, fighting and railing against the Ego doesn’t really do any good.  It’s only trying to protect you (me!!) from getting hurt, from failing and being disappointed … again, like you (I!!) have so many times in the past….

I’ve been working on my limiting beliefs since I first read Hendricks’ book and “got it.”

Yep, that was me, all right – chock full of limiting beliefs, imaginary “upper limits,” you name it….

(Me and everyone else in the world.  We all fight this one.)

I guess I just want you to know that I know what these feelings are like.

I know how it feels to put so much pressure on yourself that you collapse under it.  (That actually happened to me late last year.  It really taught me a valuable lesson, which is why I’m working to make sure I don’t fall into that trap again this time….)

I am considering my choices mindfully, and I am not going to over-commit, regardless of the pressure from outside.

I’ve been reading a lot about the power of saying “No” when something is just more than we can handle.

And here’s the thing:

No one else really knows the level we can handle.  Only we know that.

So I’m just going to make some lists, divide the large tasks into smaller ones, and get busy.

Without biting off more than I can chew.

As I discussed recently, I know my limitations.

More importantly, I accept them.

Well, for now, anyway.

Once I let go of those last limiting beliefs and break through my “Upper Limit” ceiling, it will be like they say:

“The sky’s the limit.”

summer woman fly in blue sky

Maybe that’s where my Zone of Genius will turn out to be….


  1. Vin
    March 8, 2016 | 3:53 pm

    Those inner voices don’t represent the ego, they are the ego. Multiple personality mayhem. You’re right – fighting does nothing but strengthen the ego. It’s like arguing with Trump. Don’t get him going. Since the ego depends on the past and future fantasies for its existence, it will be bringing up all the successes and failures it can think of to keep the facade going. Oh and btw, “we’re” probably going to fail miserably tomorrow too! Don’t forget that. Just try getting anything productive accomplished with those weights.

    By process of elimination, the only alternative is to ignore the ego until it gets bored and goes away. To win the fight, we must stop fighting. May take 20 years of your attention but what else is there to focus on? We will progress no further on this spiral journey until the ego is dead. Death by neglect. Nothing else kills it. A more popular way of saying that is, you need to listen to your heart and not your head.

    How to avoid the roundabout of fighting hard to stop the fighting? The key is observing. I know my true identity is beyond form. My infinite Self is only observing my little self think, feel, opinionate and decide. You mentioned pressure form the outside. To the Self it’s all outside, including our own egos.

    Victory comes through detachment from all the voices. [Oh no! You hear them too?] When you observe your own thinking process like a parent watching their child do homework, you can take the throne back from the Prince of Fear – the ego. From the reality of this present moment, you can arbitrarily weigh the thoughts that are floating by but you’re more attuned to the quiet of your observation deck. Amazing things occur to you when you completely stop competing and just listen.

    How would this work in your situation? Notice how I said “work” and nobody noticed? Observing consciously includes listening to yourself talk. Better to say, how would this play out. So, here we are in this moment detaching from the details and facts the ego is throwing at us and instead rehearsing our broadest dreams and desires. You can dwell on something so simple as, “I’m here to help people in need and I will draw to myself the teachers and coaches I need.” Then, as Deepak would say, let the universe handle the details. Some visions may have to be left behind. Detach, detach, detach.

    Now you have a new fear – fear of letting go.

    • daletchworth
      March 9, 2016 | 2:23 am

      Thank you, Vin, for these insights. Wow. And wow. Amazing and spot on. Debra

  2. Jace
    March 8, 2016 | 10:18 pm

    Thank you for sharing! Nice comments by Vin!

    You are on a journey with many ups and downs. You receive advice which you are the only one who can embrace or reject it. Including your own advice.

    Love The Big Leap. Great book.

    Have you seen the documentary Finding Joe? It’s about the Hero’s Journey described by Joseph Campbell. Watch it for the first time or watch it again and then get back at it detaching from things that don’t serve your self.

    • daletchworth
      March 9, 2016 | 2:24 am

      Jace — Thank you for the movie recommendation. We’ll certainly check it out. Debra

  3. Brad
    March 10, 2016 | 4:57 am

    Like you wrote, we all struggle with this. Then, what Vin said.

    Have you read The War of Art? It deals with some of this too.

    I also love Finding Joe, like Jace.

    • daletchworth
      March 11, 2016 | 12:25 am

      As always, thank you, Brad! Will have to look into The War of Art. Debra

  4. Andrea
    March 17, 2016 | 7:54 pm

    I guess we all struggle with this. Great article

    • daletchworth
      March 17, 2016 | 11:16 pm

      Andrea, thanks for commenting. I think you’re right as far as all of us struggling with this. I’m right there too. Debra

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