20.7.2015 | 00:09

Rainbow-DragonDispatches from the Divine Dragon

Oh, “Should”!

A few years ago, I listened to an audio course on The Sedona Method, presented by Hale Dwoskin.

It was filled with lots of great information, and several opportunities to practice the exercises along with the participants.

My biggest takeaway was the lesson about not “should”ing all over ourselves….

And yet.

In last week’s post, I remarked that I couldn’t very well convince women they “should” love their bodies if I wasn’t willing to do the same….

As one of my Transformational Nutrition Coach colleagues gently pointed out, I hardly wanted to encourage others to be…”should”ing all over themselves.

She was absolutely right.


I have no business trying to “convince” anyone that they “should” do anything.  All I can do is set an example, and a flawed one at that….  (Although if you find a perfect one, let me know.  Yeah, that’s what I thought.  “Perfect.”  Riiight.)

This is as difficult for me as it is for anyone else.  I have a daily “to-do” list, containing all of those things I know I “should” be doing, or “should” accomplish before the day’s over.

I haven’t fully “convinced” myself to love my body exactly as she is.

But that doesn’t mean I’m a fraud.

It just means I’m human, like you, and struggling with the same body image pressures as…every other woman on the face of the planet!

I’m still learning too  I’m just learning “out loud.”

One thing I’ve learned — and it’s one of the most important lessons I can share — is that it’s all about progress, not perfection.  I can’t remember who said it first (if I ever knew), but I see myself as a “human becoming,” not just a human “being.”

Our growth is a process, and frankly, I hope my “process” never ends!  I never want to reach a point where I feel I’ve learned everything there is to be learned.  That would mean the end of this marvelous journey we call life.

Heck, I hope I’m still wrestling with some of those big questions when I come to the end of my life.  Maybe there will still be plenty to discover after that “final” transition….

That would be fine with me.

So instead, let me pose a few questions to you:

How would your day be different if you woke up accepting who and where you are now?

How would you feel inside if you loved your body today, instead of wishing it were different in some way?

How does your body feel when you tell it that it “should” be younger, stronger, thinner?

None of us needs to waste our precious time and energy focusing on what “should” be different.  And yet how often do we do exactly that?

I want to challenge you to pay attention to your thoughts today, and make note of it if you catch yourself “should”ing on yourself.

Make a special note as to how it makes you feel.  Does it make you feel empowered?  Or does it seem to draw your energy away instead?

Let’s promise each other to stop “should”ing on ourselves and our loved ones.  There are enough “shoulds” and “have tos” out there without us adding our own.

And I won’t try to convince you how you “should” feel about yourself.  I’d rather support you on your journey toward progress, not perfection.  I’m not sure if I qualify as a role model, but if I do, I’m perfectly happy to be an imperfect one.

Maybe other people feel they “should” be perfect before putting themselves in the public eye or offering assistance to others, but I’d rather you see me as I am:  a “human becoming,” seeking progress instead of perfection.

I’ve got plenty to offer, and I want to support you in any way I can.

If you think I “should.”

For more about my CTNC colleague, visit her website:

Maria works with young women who are Highly Sensitive Persons, helping them discover their gifts and use them to become leaders.

This post arose from her thoughtful feedback, and I’m grateful for the gentle, sensitive nudge….  (She didn’t tell me how I “should” use her feedback.)


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